Staying Grounded During the Holiday Season:

Meditation Helps Us Navigate Social Gatherings

Seasonal celebrations bring family and friends together, offering opportunities to catch up on life and rekindle friendships. Winter holidays add another twist, with lots of time spent indoors and gatherings that bring us closer together in smaller spaces. As Ram Dass quipped, “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family!” 

Whichever holiday your family celebrates: Hannukkah, Las Posadas, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, Eid al-Adha, you will be surrounded by people, and possibly some with whom you don’t see eye to eye. In the words of author and meditation teacher, Oren Jay Sofer, “In today’s political climate, family gatherings can be even more stressful than usual. Our divides may loom just around the corner, threatening to dredge up old wounds or derail a holiday meal.” 

Since mindfulness is the practice of paying attention, on purpose, to the present moment without judgment, we can use it to cultivate patience and kindness. Being in the moment starts with positive intentions. “Setting an intention is like having a North Star: whatever happens, keep returning to that inner compass. How do you want to show up?” (Sofer) Meditation helps us focus on what really matters in our lives and be conscious of those who lack: whether it be a warm home, access to healthy food, or a stable family life. Meditation not only helps us nurture feelings of joy in the present moment; it can also help us spread positive energy around us. 

“The holiday season is meant to be a happy time; it conjures up images of cozying up by the fireplace, baking gingerbread cookies, giving to (and helping) those in need, and stepping away from the day-to-day grind to focus on family and loved ones.” (Deepak Chopra) With everything this time of year brings, it’s easy to get swept up in the busyness and lose our ground or intention. Since the heart of the holidays is really about feeling and sharing joy, kindness, and gratitude for the good things in our lives, mindfulness helps us cherish the special moments we share with others.

Loving-kindness (Metta) is a meditation practice centered on cultivating compassion toward others, grounding us in what’s most essential and happening right now. It can improve our capacity for empathy and compassion by sharing positive intentions with others and ourselves, helping us be more present and positive, especially during stressful times. Metta meditation consists of silently repeating several phrases in a sequential, systematic way. The words are: “May you/I/we be filled with loving kindness; May you/I/we be well; May you/I/we be peaceful and at ease/ May you/I/we be happy. There are other variations of phrases that can be used and it is fine to come up with your own; the phrases need to be genuine to have meaning for you. 

The routine consists of bringing someone to mind, starting with a loved one, spouse, or friend. Visualizing them clearly, you recite the words/phrases slowly and intently, maybe putting a hand on your heart to ground into the warm feelings. The following “rounds” are to offer metta to yourself, then to someone neutral (post office staff, for example), then to someone with whom there is some conflict, then to a community you belong to, and finally to the whole world. Although Metta is generally longer than sitting meditation, it can certainly be effective in about 20 minutes and I recommend doing it daily through the end of the year as a holiday feel-good practice.  The benefits are long-term calm, patience, groundedness, mental clarity and emotional resilience.

It is also recommended to do Metta with a guide until you have learned the practice well enough to do it on your own. I have several audio practices that you may like to try on the Insight Timer app, as well as a sung version I learned from the Insight Meditation Society. Alternatively, you may request an in-person practice, which has the benefit of being customized to your life and situation.

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director of Mindful Frontiers LLC, a Benefit Corporation (B-Corp) based in Taos, New Mexico, dedicated to promoting community wellness through mindfulness. We offer individuals, schools and organizations a variety of mindfulness and meditation tools designed to support and nurture positive social-emotional growth. Our mission is to “welcome a mindful future, one present moment at a time,” guiding people towards greater awareness, emotional resilience, and a deeper connection with themselves and others. Anne-Marie is a certified meditation leader and labyrinth facilitator, with over 25 years of experience practicing meditation. Mindful Frontiers can be found on the Insight Timer app, YouTube and at our website, ⁠MindfulFrontiers.net⁠.