Loving-Kindness is a Meditation Practice with Big Benefits:

Sending Kind Thoughts

Children are born with an innate capacity to give and receive affection and compassion. We’ve noticed how young children absorb the smiles of others and instinctively reciprocate their own heart-melting energy. We’ve watched a young child shed tears seeing another being in distress and noticed how they are able to join in the laughter of others. Observe them as they hug their furry pets and speak sweetly to un-furry pets such as a butterfly or a lizard. Children are born with a real sense of how to love and be loved. As they grow older, this spontaneity wanes as life affects their lived experiences. They find out that others are not always kind and loving, that people can display hurtful behaviors and life may become more challenging to navigate.  

Indeed, the world is sometimes a hard place and meditation can help assuage the feelings that come from suffering (dukkha in the Pali language of Buddhism). This is actually the first of the Four Noble Truths: that there is suffering in the world. The Second Noble Truth, that there is a cause of suffering, allows us to understand that it is not our fault. The Third Noble Truth teaches us that there is an end to suffering and then the Fourth Noble Truth sends us on the path of how to handle the effects of suffering by training our emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence helps us to stay present with life experiences. Intelligence is knowing that this, too, shall pass and that there is a positive way to deal with suffering. By encouraging present-moment awareness we learn to accept the changing nature of our experiences, the behaviors of others, and our own inner landscape. We learn to see things as they are without the duality of “good” or “bad,” and learn to check in with ourselves to build our internal resources.

This may be the biggest benefit of family meditation: to pause, check in, and genuinely wish ourselves and others well. When the family learns to nurture inner peace, we can generate positivity and heartfulness. By practicing mindful meditation, families can model how to keep positivity and generosity flowing, even when life’s experiences are confusing and painful. Loving-kindness, also known as Metta, is a meditation in which we send kind thoughts to ourselves and others. It is a generous practice that anyone can do, no matter the age and level of emotional intelligence.

A Metta Meditation for Sending Loving Kindness

  • Before you start this mediation, set a timer (10-20 minutes for example) and decide who will be the leader. Then choose a few phrases that invoke kindness and compassion. Write them down if it helps everyone to remember. Here are some examples:
    • “May I/you/we be at peace.”
    • “May /you/we be healthy.”
    • “May I/you/we feel free.”
    • “May joy fill my/your/our life.”
  • As is customary for meditation, find a comfortable place where the entire family can be together and attention is the most focused. 
  • Start by taking three deep breaths together, inhaling through the nose, and exhaling through the mouth while tuning in to how the body feels and responds to relaxing breaths.
  • Continuing our rhythmic breathing, we will offer loving-kindness intentions to people in our life, called beneficiaries, (yourself, your family, your neighbors, your community, your country, and people who need kindness across the world). 
  • Offering Metta starts with ourselves individually and then, in turn, moves on to others one at a time, ending with a community or group.
  • With the beneficiary clearly in your mind, repeat the loving-kindness phrases several times, moving from one beneficiary to the next every few minutes. The leader can speak the phrases out loud or encourage everyone to say them silently to themselves as the intended beneficiary is visualized. 
  • When the timer goes off or the meditation is completed, sit quietly for a few moments, smiling and sensing how it feels to have shared loving-kindness with ourselves and the world. 
  • If time permits, journaling can be encouraged. The very young can draw how they feel or who they sent Metta and illustrate how it made that person/those people feel.

Originally published in The Taos News, August 10, 2023

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Mindful Frontiers

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC. Mindful Frontiers LLC is a Benefit Corporation (BCorp) committed to Community Wellness by providing schools and organizations with mindfulness meditation tools that nurture positive social-emotional growth. With over two decades of meditation experience, Anne-Marie provides coaching for children, families, individuals, groups, and classrooms. She is a certified meditation leader and a certified labyrinth facilitator. Featured practices can be found on the ⁠Welcoming a Mindful Future⁠ podcast and Insight Timer app. Our website is ⁠MindfulFrontiers.net⁠. Mindful Frontiers LLC is a Benefit Corporation (BCorp) committed to Community Wellness by providing schools and organizations with mindfulness meditation tools that nurture positive social-emotional growth.

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