Understanding grasping and clinging through meditation.
Sometimes life can be boring, right? Boredom is a feeling we get when we wish things were different – more exciting or engaging – or as children say, more “fun”. Essentially, when we’re bored we have the desire for life to be different than it is right now. Buddhism calls this “grasping” and “clinging” and is said to be caused by thoughts (ideas) of how our mind wants things to be. In an article in LionsRoar, Brother Phap Linh writes, “There’s a popular take on wanting things, which is that if we don’t have what we want, it’s because we just don’t want it enough. According to the ‘law of attraction’ you can have whatever you want if you only want it enough. According to this way of thinking, you can manifest the life you want just by visualizing it clearly. This presupposes the idea that having what you want will satisfy you.” This is the proverbial, if only…then that we get caught up in when wishing for life to be other than it is.
Meditation helps us investigate our thoughts and by connecting to sensations in the body, we can investigate the true nature of these mind ideas. We can use our meditation practice “to look at the wanting itself, at the state of wanting”. Since meditation is a present-moment practice, we can observe our emotions relating to boredom to learn how these feelings are mixed up with clinging to the past or grasping towards the future. We may think that if only things were different, we’d be more happy or life would be more fun. There’s also a tendency to get caught up in the “how” of getting what we want. How can I make my life better, more interesting, more fun, more engaging?
In meditation traditions, we are asked to look at the grasping and clinging directly. What does it feel like? Where do I feel this in the body? How would I feel right now if I weren’t wishing things to be different? Can I just be present and grateful for what is already here? We practice letting go of expectations and accepting what is right here in this moment – the only reality there is – instead of wishing for things to be different. When we investigate grasping and clinging, we may realize that the discontent is a state of unrest and we can calm this through meditation which is being mindful of what is going on right now by following the breath that connects us to reality.
This month’s practice invites us to focus on the simplicity of the breath as a conduit for noticing what is going on right here, right now. Following the breath as it comes in and goes out of the body is a practice the entire family can do together and most children can do this as well. The instructions are pretty simple and remind us of what mindfulness means: being aware, on purpose, and without judgment of what’s going on through the grounding effect of the breath. A 15-minute timer is suggested for this practice.
Simplicity of Breath: a meditation that grounds us in the present moment. Begin by choosing a comfortable sitting posture, on the floor, bed, or in a chair. Before settling into the practice, check your body for any areas of tension or discomfort. Stretch out these areas in any way that feels ok to you. Children can shake out their tension. Gradually allow yourself to become aware of your breathing. On the in-breath, notice where the breath is most apparent (chest, bellow, or nose area). Then, follow the breath and visualize as it travels throughout the body before the out-breath. Be curious about the small details of your breath such as whether it feels deep or superficial, tight or relaxed. Visualize the journey of the breath. Notice the in-breath and then do a quick body scan as if you are following the breath to the feet and fingers and then back to the lungs. Slowing down the breath may help this visualization. At some point, you will notice that your mind has wandered into thought. This is expected so just notice the distraction and ask yourself if there are any thoughts of discontent or boredom. How might I feel right now if I weren’t wishing things to be different? Can I be present and grateful for just being here? As your practice progresses, allow yourself to notice sensations in your body. This will help you understand where the feelings of boredom or unrest are coming from. Maybe thoughts will come up, or more body sensations or an inspiration. Keep going for as long as you can, following the breath and then noticing thoughts and sensations. When your practice is complete, it may be inspiring to discuss the experience together, to journal, or write a poem about the experience. Note: Adapting this practice to the very young: Observation of thoughts and following sensations through the body may be too much for the very young so they can be encouraged to follow the breath with a hand on their belly and watch it inflate and deflate as a balloon. They can assign their breath-balloon a color and size as well. And then, while the rest of the group is discussing or journaling, the children can draw. |
Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC. Mindful Frontiers LLC is a Benefit Corporation (BCorp) committed to Community Wellness by providing schools and organizations with mindfulness meditation tools that nurture positive social-emotional growth. With over two decades of meditation experience, Anne-Marie provides coaching for children, families, individuals, groups, and classrooms. She is a certified meditation leader and a certified labyrinth facilitator. Featured practices can be found on theWelcoming a Mindful Future podcast and Insight Timer app. Our website is MindfulFrontiers.net
This article was originally published in The Taos News on February 8, 2024
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