Building the capacity to be fully present through listening.
Awaken to the mystery of being here
and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence.
Have joy and peace in the temple of your senses.
Take time to celebrate the quiet miracles that seek no attention.
– John O’Donohue, poet
Have you ever just stopped what you were doing and listened? Deeply listened to the sounds and silence around you? Seems like an oxymoron to be encouraging silence and listening. The kind of silence I’m referring to is one where we are mindful of what is going on in the present moment, encouraging a deep awareness that comes from listening to what’s going on inside and outside the body. It is an invitation to put down electronics, the to-do lists, turn off social media engagement, and just be with our surroundings and our senses.
The first time a person tries to sit in meditation can be daunting. I’ve heard many times from those who say they’ve tried meditation and it “didn’t work” for them because they “couldn’t sit still” or they “couldn’t stop thinking.” Both of these expectations are myths to be debunked once and for all.
Indeed, it is impossible to just sit down and stop thinking. Our minds are made to think and when we sit in meditation, there will be thoughts, lots of them. Sometimes, it can be quite challenging to calm the mental chatter, especially if it contains painful or fearful memories. In the beautiful book, “The Joy of Living”, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, a Tibetan monk, recounts how difficult meditation was for him as a child. “From earliest childhood, I was haunted by feelings of fear and anxiety… even after three years of sitting [in meditation] my anxiety increased…” After asking his father for meditation guidance his anxiety continued and his mind wouldn’t rest. “Years later, I would come to realize I … was simply becoming more aware of the constant stream of thoughts and sensations I’d never recognized before.” When we sit in meditation, there may be a period of hyperactivity as the body and mind learn to settle down and our awareness becomes more attuned to the silence.
Nonetheless, the benefits of sitting in meditation are well worth the effort. Some of these include positive mood and outlook, self-discipline and clear attention, healthy sleep patterns, and even increased pain tolerance. To reap these benefits, meditation practice must be consistent so I encourage families to carve out a daily mindfulness moment, and if it is at the same time each day, the body and mind will look forward to the break.
Rather than encouraging a purely Zen style of meditation (Zazen or Shikantaza) where we are supposed to “just sit, following the breath”, mindfulness of sound is something more attainable for beginning meditators, and especially for children. One of the great benefits of meditating on sound is that gradually we learn to detach from reacting to what we hear around us. This is called equanimity and is very helpful in dealing with life’s stresses and experiences. “You can simply listen to what other people say with a much more relaxed and balanced attitude, without being carried away by an emotional response.” (Rinpoche) We stop assigning meaning to sounds and we just notice them as basic content or just the stuff around us. Welcoming moments of silent awareness helps the body relax and be present. Mindfulness invites us to be at ease with all that is going on around us.
The following practice offers a way to bring mindfulness of sound into your family’s routine and I encourage you to set aside fifteen to twenty minutes for this practice since it may take family members a little time to settle down at first. And it would be especially nice to do this practice outdoors.
Meditating on Sound
- Begin by just allowing your mind to rest for a few moments and for your body to relax into a comfortable posture. Take several deep, flowing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth as you also stretch the shoulders and neck muscles. Also, notice the whole body and where it is in contact with your sitting area.
- Gradually, allow yourself to become aware of things you hear. Start by noticing sounds close to your ear, such as your heartbeat or your breath, and then move your awareness to things that occur naturally in your immediate surroundings. We can also extend that area to sounds further and further away.
- Cultivate a simple acknowledgment of sounds as you hear them. Just notice sounds and even find the pause or silence between the sounds you hear. It is easier to allow yourself to just be aware of everything around you, rather than to focus on a specific sound for too long so let yourself jump around a bit from sound to sound.
- Avoid being too rigid with your attention. As with most meditation, you will probably find that you can focus on the sounds for only a few seconds at a time before your mind wanders off. That’s okay.
- When you notice that your mind has wandered into thought, just bring your focus back to a relaxed state and then return to noticing sounds and the silence between them.
- As your practice progresses, allow yourself to alternate between resting your attention on sounds and then allowing your mind to simply rest in a relaxed state. This is what is called open awareness practice. In time, the silence becomes more pronounced and our body and mind become more relaxed. We may even forget the sounds completely and just enjoy the whole experience with equanimity and complete presence.
- Young children can be encouraged to sit and color or write about what they hear. This allows them to be a bit active since sitting still may be difficult for young meditators. In time, all ages can sit in silence and listen to sounds around them.
When your practice is complete, discuss what each person heard and how they felt about the sounds. Did they notice how to body responded to hearing these sounds? Journaling about the experience is also something that can be added to the practice.
Originally published in The Taos News, January 18, 2024
Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC. Mindful Frontiers LLC is a Benefit Corporation (BCorp) committed to Community Wellness by providing schools and organizations with mindfulness meditation tools that nurture positive social-emotional growth. With over two decades of meditation experience, Anne-Marie leads meditation workshops and provides coaching for children, families, individuals, groups, and classrooms. She is a certified meditation leader as well as a certified labyrinth facilitator. A full audio version of featured practices can be heard on the Welcoming a Mindful Future podcast. Our website can be accessed at MindfulFrontiers.net.
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