Loving Kindness and Self-Compassion Meditation Offers Big Benefits

Children are born with an innate capacity to give and receive affection and compassion. We’ve noticed how young children absorb the smiles of others and instinctively reciprocate their heart-melting energy. We’ve watched a young child shed tears seeing another being in distress and noticed how they can join in laughter with others. As they grow older, this spontaneity wanes as life affects their lived experiences. They find out that others are not always kind and loving, that people can display hurtful behaviors, and life may become more challenging to navigate.  

Some ways to bring mindfulness into our daily lives are to pause, check in and genuinely wish ourselves and others well.

While the world is sometimes a hard place, mindfulness can help assuage the feelings that come from suffering, known as dukkha in the Pali language. The Four Noble Truths are a core concept in Buddhism, outlining the nature of suffering and the path to liberation from it. They are: the truth of suffering (dukkha), the truth of the origin of suffering (samudaya), the truth of the cessation of suffering (nirodha), and the truth of the path to the cessation of suffering (magga). The Noble Eightfold Path shows us a way to navigate the effects of suffering in our lives. This path is a set of eight interconnected principles that guide a wholehearted lifestyle.

The Noble Eightfold Path is a holistic approach to living a mindful and ethical life, with each aspect supporting and strengthening the others. Two of the paths, Right Intention and Right Mindfulness, include the cultivation of Loving Kindness and Present Moment Awareness. Through these areas of emotional intelligence, we learn to accept the changing nature of our life experiences, our own inner landscape, and the moods of others by generating compassion.

Some ways to bring mindfulness into our daily lives are to pause, check in and genuinely wish ourselves and others well. In the words of Thich Naht Hanh, “The first element of true love is loving kindness. The essence of loving kindness is being able to offer happiness. You can be the sunshine for another person. You can’t offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself. Learn how to practice mindfulness in such a way that you can create [moments] of happiness and joy for your own nourishment. Then you have something to offer the other person.”

Mettà or Loving Kindness meditation is a guided practice that uses phrases that you repeat silently as you visualize yourself and others in the mind’s eye. Some basic phrases are: “May you be well; may you be happy; may you be peaceful and at ease.” Mettà takes a bit longer than a formal sitting practice, and it involves a step-by-step process as we express well-wishes to people in our lives, ourselves, and our community. It is helpful to be guided in this meditation so that we can be fully present and mindful of our body, breath, and mind as we follow the guidance and silently recite the phrases. In time, it is possible to guide ourselves in Mettà or to offer it on the fly as we go about our daily activities.

If you’re interested in learning more about the benefits of Mettà / Loving Kindness meditation and being guided in a formal practice, Mindful Frontiers offers a variety of options. At our Insight Timer portal, you will find a user-friendly online platform (app) offering a wide range of meditations. You may also wish to consider a private workshop for you and/or your family.


Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers, a B Corp based in Taos, whose mission is to welcome a mindful future, one present moment at a time, and is dedicated to promoting community wellness through mindfulness and meditation. We offer individuals, families and organizations a variety of practices designed to support and nurture positive social-emotional growth. Lifelong Taoseña Anne-Marie is a certified meditation leader and labyrinth facilitator. Mindful Frontiers is available on social media, on Insight Timer at insighttimer.com/amemanuelli, and at ⁠MindfulFrontiers.net⁠.

Moods Change Like the Weather:

Inviting gratitude and acceptance of our emotions through meditation.

The human brain has a natural tendency to remember negative experiences more than positive ones. Psychologists refer to this as negativity bias. “Our brains are wired to scout for the bad stuff and fixate on the threat”, says Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Senior Fellow of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.

Our brain, by function and development, is a very “old” organ. The part of our brain that is the least developed is the amygdala, which is responsible for fight, flight, or freeze reactions to emotional experiences. This inner brain was crucial when we were hunter-gatherers, as we needed to remain ever-vigilant of threats to our survival. 

As humans have evolved, this part of the brain has remained essentially undeveloped. On the other hand, the most significant part of the brain, the cerebral cortex, has evolved and continues to develop. This frontal area is responsible for many higher-order functions such as memory, perception and interpretation. Meditation and mindfulness stimulate the frontal area of the brain as well as the parasympathetic nervous system, which originates in the brain stem, and is responsible for relaxation. 

Mindfulness can help us notice thoughts and sensations in the present moment and calm our amygdala. When teaching mindfulness of emotions in the classroom, I encourage students to describe them as types of weather, such as stormy, cloudy, rainy, and sunny. Each child perceives their mood, or internal weather, differently, so “cloudy” for one child may mean feeling introspective, while for another it could mean loneliness. It doesn’t matter which weather pattern we use to describe our mood, and by labeling emotions, we move the experience out of the amygdala to the frontal cortex, which makes it possible to use mindfulness to diffuse the emotion. 

Inviting gratitude is a meditation practice for dealing with changing moods. After noticing our internal weather, we can invite gratitude as a way to accept the emotions being felt in the body. Asking the question, “What am I grateful for right now?” is a way to diffuse emotions and refocus the mind. With practice, your moods will settle as the mind chooses a more positive focus. Finding just one or two things to be grateful for may be enough to generate positivity and to settle your mind’s attention away from an uncomfortable mood to a more positive present-moment awareness. When we practice gratitude, we invite compassion and appreciation into our life experiences, which engages the parasympathetic nervous system.

“There is a 90-second window of opportunity during which we can choose to allow an emotion to flow through our body.”

If you attempt to ignore or push away emotions, they may become more intense. Noticing what you are feeling is the first step in accepting your moods. For example, anger makes the heart rate increase. This increase may send excess heat to our palms and face, or you may experience “a lump” in the abdomen or ches,t which is stuck negative energy. Once we become aware of where in the body we are experiencing sensations, mindfulness can be used to label the associated emotion. Anger can be restated as “tightness”, “choppy breathing,” or even “sweaty palms”. By labeling the emotion with a neutral phrase and noticing the sensation in the body, we move the feelings through the mind, into the body and eventually out with the breath. 

Once you notice your internal weather, there is a window of about 90 seconds during which we can shift focus away from thoughts and invite mindfulness awareness, thereby preventing the emotion from escalating. Noticing where an emotion is manifesting in your body helps to interrupt the pattern of escalation and then engaging in mindful breathing practices can be quite calming. Lengthening the exhale is said to invite the “rest and digest” effect of the parasympathetic nervous system. Breathing in for a count of four and exhaling for a count of six is one example of mindful breathing. There are many other breathing practices that help move emotions out of the amygdala and into the frontal cortex, allowing us to regulate our moods through mindfulness meditation. 

If you’re interested in learning more about the benefits of meditation for moods, Mindful Frontiers offers a variety of guided meditation practices on Insight Timer, a user-friendly worldwide platform. You can download the app on your phone or visit the website for free or with a subscription.

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC. Mindful Frontiers is a Benefit Corporation (BCorp) based in Taos, New Mexico, dedicated to promoting community wellness through meditation. We offer a variety of mindfulness & meditation tools designed to support and nurture individuals and groups with positive social-emotional growth. Our mission is to “welcome a mindful future, one present moment at a time,” guiding people towards greater awareness, emotional balance, and a deeper connection with themselves and others. Anne-Marie is a certified meditation leader and a certified labyrinth facilitator. Featured practices can be found on the Insight Timer app. Our website is MindfulFrontiers.net.

A version was initially published in The Taos News, July 17, 2025.

Tonglen practice for awakening compassion

When life is challenging, we can share kindness with the world.

Generating kindness and compassion during challenging times is a way to feel engaged in and supportive of the world. Helping others brings meaning to our lives and reminds us that we are all interconnected. Helping those in less fortunate circumstances opens our eyes to their struggles and brings perspective to our challenges. When we help others, we benefit society and ourselves. Tonglen is a compassionate meditation practice that awakens our potential for releasing suffering and seeking relief. 

The word tonglen comes from the Tibetan language and translates as giving and taking. Tong means giving or sending, and len means receiving or taking. Pema Chödrön, an American-born Tibetan monk who is a Tonglen practitioner and teacher, explains that in tonglen practice, “we visualize taking in the pain of others with every in-breath and sending out whatever will benefit them on the out-breath.” Tonglen meditation uses visualization and the breath to transform negative energy using messages that generate peace; in the process, we feel love for ourselves and others.

Tonglen originated in India and was brought to Tibet around the 11th century. The practice originated to help those suffering from serious diseases so people might heal and continue to help others. Buddhist monks would practice Tonglen with the intention of releasing the suffering of others in their community and the world at large. “Usually, we look away when we see someone suffering. Their pain brings up our fear or anger and our resistance and confusion. So we can also do tonglen for all people just like ourselves—all those who wish to be compassionate but instead are afraid, who wish to be brave but are cowardly.” (Chödrön)

Tonglen is similar to Loving Kindness (Mettà) in that we use the transformative power of the heart to channel healing. Although the overall intention of these practices is similar, tonglen welcomes the feelings of suffering into our hearts. We feel the pain and sadness before guiding the heart to transform the pain into compassion and extend it outward into the world. Chödrön explains the compassion practice further: “Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or have died, or those who are in pain of any kind. It can be done as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot at any time. If we are out walking and we see someone in pain, we can breathe in that person’s pain and send out relief to them.”

Compassion is not the same as empathy. A working definition of compassion is “the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.” A subtle difference is that empathy is the ability to understand another’s emotions, whereas, with compassion, we also desire to relieve their suffering. 

The following short tonglen practice can be offered for those struggling with illness or emotional suffering. It can be done sitting in meditation or on the fly as we go about our day’s activities.

Tonglen practice for families and groups. Young children can be invited to draw during this practice and use their creativity to channel compassion.

  1. Sitting in stillness with eyes closed, we welcome compassion into our hearts. Generate open awareness as you watch the breath go in and out, inviting the desire to fully awaken to compassion. Bring your attention to the heart and welcome feelings of love – this could be a golden light, an image of the Buddha, or an overall feeling of warmth. You may also choose to place your hands on your heart.
  2. Visualization of a person’s suffering using the breath and sensations. Breathing in and out welcomes an awareness of your or someone else’s suffering. Name the suffering (sadness, grief, pain). See the situation in as much detail as you wish. 
  3. Receiving and taking in suffering. Focus on the situation by seeing an image of the suffering. Use the in-breath to receive the image and transform it into something more positive on the out-breath. You may try using smoke changing into a healing white light. You can also see the person in pain and visualize their face turning into a smile. As you do this, recite several times: May this pain and suffering be released.
  4. Expand compassion by extending it to all who are in the same situation. Using the same in-and-out-breath practice described above, visualize and welcome an awareness of all who feel the same suffering. On each out-breath, offer them the mantra: May this pain and suffering be released. 

Conclusion of the practice: Sit in silence for several more breaths, enjoying the feeling of release and transformation. Recite the final mantra: May all beings be well and live with ease. When ready, open your eyes slowly, bringing awareness back to your environment and noticing your surroundings.

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC. Mindful Frontiers is a Benefit Corporation (BCorp) based in Taos, New Mexico, dedicated to promoting community wellness through mindfulness. We offer schools and organizations a variety of mindfulness & meditation tools designed to support and nurture individuals and groups with positive social-emotional growth. Our mission is to “welcome a mindful future, one present moment at a time,” guiding people towards greater awareness, emotional balance, and a deeper connection with themselves and others. Anne-Marie is a certified meditation leader and a certified labyrinth facilitator. Featured practices can be found on the Insight Timer app. Our website is MindfulFrontiers.net.

Meditating with Mother Nature: Impermanence and Interconnectedness.

Meditating in nature is a satisfying activity that anyone can do, no matter their age or mobility. Many people enjoy sitting under a tree or by a stream, lying on their back in a meadow or just sitting on the porch on a hot summer day. Communing with nature can be a rewarding experience, especially if we can feel gratitude and pay close attention to what is around us, appreciating the incredible colors, shapes, and designs. In the book, Awake in the Wild, author Mark Coleman writes, “Nature has the power to transform and awaken us. For centuries, monks, mystics, and other individuals have lived, meditated, and sought refuge in the forests, deserts, and mountains.” 

We can learn a lot from Mother Nature regarding impermanence and gratitude during the summer when there is an abundance of colorful life around us. All of this beauty is freely offered with nothing asked in return for all that is produced. Gaia’s beauty reminds us that there is beauty for beauty’s sake as well as a deep interconnectedness or interbeing, a term coined by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Thich Nhat Hanh, (called Thay, or teacher, by his followers), was a firm believer in meditating with nature. “When we look into our own bodily formation, we see Mother Earth inside us, and so the whole universe is inside us, too. Once we have this insight of interbeing, it is possible to have real communication, real communion with the Earth;” from Love Letters to the Earth. The idea of interbeing is very important to Thay and his Plum Village followers. Interbeing is the belief that we are part of Nature, its beings, and all that lives on our planet. We breathe together, hold space together and depend on each other for survival. There is no self separate from our environment and we all need the same elements to survive. What happens to you affects me and what happens to our environment affects all of us.

As I recently read in a Lion’s Roar article by Valerie Brown entitled The True Nature of a Flower, “Interconnectedness can be seen in a garden. A flower does not grow in isolation. It’s permeated by non-flower elements such as sunlight, soil, water, and air. It cannot exist without these non-flower elements. When you really look at a flower, you begin to see this interconnectedness of the roots stabilizing the soil, the nectar providing food for butterflies and insects, and seed heads offering nourishment for birds”. With awareness of interconnectedness, we understand the kinship connecting plant to flower, flower to non-flower elements, and also to everything else, including humans. We cannot exist without sunlight, water, air, and the nutrients plants provide. Using meditation, we can deepen our awareness of the connection (interbeing) we have with our environment and Mother Earth whose abundance and wisdom are immense.

The following practice is intended for families (or a group of people) to practice together in a natural setting. This meditation takes place in a quiet outdoor place – the backyard, a city park, next to a stream, or in a forest. It is appropriate for all ages.

Meditating with Mother Nature

  • Once you’ve found your spot in nature, gather everyone around and find a place to sit. If you have brought chairs, cushions or blankets, they can make sitting on the ground more comfortable. Barefooted would also be nice.
  • As you take your seat, notice what is going on in the body or mind. We can always be aware of something, whether it is thoughts or sensations. This is Mindful Awareness.
  • Close your eyes and bring attention to the body. Bring awareness to your posture and what parts of the body are in contact with the earth. Sit with as much ease as possible so that relaxation can be present.
  • Breathe normally and feel the entire movement of your breathing as it moves through the body. As you breathe, feel the air coming in and going out and imagine that you are breathing with all life forms around you. Plants breathe, animals breathe, insects breathe, etc…
  • Do this for a few minutes together, allowing everyone to enjoy their own breathing sensations as well as the appreciation that there’s a community breathing together.
  • Now, bring your awareness to the natural environment around you. What do you hear? What do you feel? Are there sensations in relation to the areas that are in touch with the earth? Tickling of grass, Crumbling of earth, Solidity of rocks …?
  • Open your eyes and look around you. What do you see? Trees swaying in the wind. A bird on a branch, an ant on the ground; pay attention carefully and with a curious heart. 
  • Allow everyone time to silently engage with their surroundings so that there is an awareness of the relationship we have with all kinds of life forms – the plants, the insects, the trees, the birds, and even the hidden animals. Acknowledge that we are all part of this living, breathing ecosystem. Even if the family or group can only sense this for a short time, it is worthwhile, and with practice, the time can be extended. (A valuable goal is to sit in nature for at least 30 minutes.

An audio version of this featured meditation is available on the Welcoming a Mindful Future podcast via Spotify, Apple, and Google podcast platforms.

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC, an education-based mindfulness meditation center offering workshops, classes, and coaching for children, families, individuals, and classrooms. For more information please visit the website at MindfulFrontiers.net.

Originally published on The Taos News, July 13, 2023

Mindfulness and Social-Emotional Learning

Subscribe to continue reading

Subscribe to get access to the rest of this post and other subscriber-only content.

Mindfulness in Daily Life: Anything Can Be Done Mindfully

“We have the ability to work wonders. If we live mindfully in everyday life, walk mindfully, and are full of love and caring, then we create a miracle and transform the world into a wonderful place.” (Thich Nhat Hanh from “Moments of Mindfulness”, 2013 

Mindfulness can be brought into our daily activities so that anything we do becomes a kind of meditation. Doing the dishes, cleaning the house, driving the car, drinking coffee or tea, and walking with a pet can all be done mindfully. The key to mindfulness is to pay attention to one thing at a time and really enjoy what we are doing. 

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, and peace activist, wrote extensively about mindfulness in daily life. “Mindfulness is the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment. It is the continuous practice of touching life deeply in every moment of daily life. To be mindful is to be truly alive, present, and at one with those around you and with what you are doing. We bring our body and mind into harmony while we wash the dishes, drive the car, or take our morning shower.” Thay (as he is referred to by his followers), taught that anything we do can be meditation. 

When we engage in an activity mindfully we slow down and REALLY pay attention with applied concentration and open curiosity. I have noticed that when mindfulness is brought to an activity it becomes really enjoyable. The point of doing daily activities more slowly and mindfully is so that our body and mind may relax as we pay attention to what we are doing right now, rather than thinking about or ruminating about things that happened in the past or that may or may not happen in the future. 

When I teach mindfulness to children and families, we engage all the senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. What do we see right now? What do we smell, touch, taste, and hear right now as we are doing this together? These practices help with focussed attention so that we are less distracted as we go about a routine activity and we enjoy what we are doing more. Thay reminds us to smile as we go about our daily activities. This raises feelings of positivity. 

This month let’s really pay attention to activities we engage in together. The following practice can be used during any activity to bring mindfulness into the shared experience.

Mindfulness in Daily Life Family Practice

1. Choose an activity to experience mindfully: Washing the dishes, Walking the dog, Driving to school, Coloring, or Setting the table. You choose the activity. The practice is the same.
2. Begin by consciously identifying what you are doing right now together. Smile to raise the positive attitude of body and mind.
3. The practice welcomes all the senses: sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste. The leader in the practice asks the following questions one at a time, allowing for individual experience.
4. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you feel? What do you taste? For example, if we are washing dishes, we identify the dish we are washing and notice its texture, color, and design. What sounds do we hear as the cloth rubs the surface or the dishes touch one another? How does the water temperature feel on our hands? What does the soap smell like and is there a sense of taste? (Sometimes smell and taste are related in the body)
5. Each sense is invited and a quiet moment is allowed for everyone to have their experience. We invite patience and awareness and don’t hurry to the next sense.
6. When the activity is complete, we stand up tall, take a deep breath in and out, and smile outwardly and inwardly. Congratulations on bringing mindfulness into your daily life!

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder Mindful Frontiers LLC and has 20+ years of meditation experience. She guides vipassana-style meditation through workshops, classes, and labyrinth walks for children, families, classrooms and individuals. Mindfulness meditation and labyrinth facilitation credentials are from Sage Institute, Veriditas, MindfulSchools and MBSR. For more information and to sign up for our seasonal newsletter, please visit MindfulFrontiers.net

Originally published, May 18, 2023

Equanimity Practice to Cultivate Non-Reactivity and Freedom

This month I’d like to share with you the practice of Equanimity or Non-Reactivity.  In Buddhist psychology, there are the Four Divine Abodes. These are loving-kindness, compassion, joy and the most important, equanimity. During times of challenge, it is helpful to have a tool we can use to navigate the emotions we are experiencing from exposure to a conflict-filled and struggling world. This month’s practice focuses on non-reactivity so that we can view what is going on around us with care. Equanimity is an inner refuge that brings freedom and acceptance.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. 

In that space is our power to choose our response. 

In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” 

(Victor Frankl, author & Holocaust survivor)

In the words of Tara Brach, a Buddhist-trained meditation teacher who blends Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices, “If we want to bring our intelligence, creativity and love into our relationships and world, we need to be able to access an inner refuge of presence.” The family practice I’m sharing with you explores how to bring equanimity (inner balance and non-reactive awareness) into our responses to what is going on around us. The practice uses the mantra, And This …, which allows space for the changing experiences of life to be acknowledged and move through us as we ground in the present moment.

When life gets busy and overwhelming, a powerful antidote is to pause, take a breath, notice what’s going on and then choose our next step. The freedom that comes from the pause is powerful. In the pause is the spaciousness of presence; it allows us to be aware and non-reactive. And when we’re able to rest and notice what is going on in the moment, we can find peace in our hearts. When we think with the heart, the mind will follow. 

Equanimity / Non-Judgment of the Present Moment practice using AND THIS…:

– Start by finding a comfortable place to sit in meditation as a family and choose a leader who will read the step-by-step practice that follows. If there are young children, I recommend bringing out some blank paper and coloring materials so they can participate in the AND THIS… activity using creativity. 

– Begin with a couple of deep breaths in through the nose and out the mouth. This relaxes the mind and body and engages the parasympathetic nervous system.

– Settling into the natural breath we notice the in and out rhythm and we also notice how the body is feeling. Is there tension, emotions, restlessness? Name what is felt and where it is felt in the body. Young children are encouraged to name what they feel in any way they wish.

– Next, we conjure up a difficult situation in the world: conflict in Ukraine, famine in Africa; whatever the family wishes to focus on. As we visualize the difficult situation, we see the suffering, the injustice and the pain in our mind’s eye. Each time we come back to noticing our breath and introduce the mantra, AND THIS _________.  We notice the feelings and allow them to be here, labeling them with a word: AND THIS sadness, AND THIS pain, AND THIS fear, AND THIS … For young children, we can have them draw what they are feeling about the situation. 

– Again and again, we bring ourselves back to the moment as it is with nonjudgment. No need to label it as not good, not bad, not even neutral, just life unfolding with us in it, just the here and now reality; and this, and this, and this. Young children may need to express what they are feeling with words and this is where the drawing comes in. Encourage them to put whatever they are feeling into their drawings.

– When ready, bring everyone’s attention back to the breath going in and out, allowing it to slow down, feeling your body settling back into the sitting posture. Open your eyes and gaze around the room, reintegrating the mind and body. Everyone can notice something in the room that has a bright color and shape and as we pay attention to it, we wake up from the meditation. 

– If there’s time, a family discussion can be invited to share the experience, the drawings and how the meditation went for everyone.

– Equanimity meditation can be done anytime something affects us emotionally. Take a few calming breaths, notice how the body feels, repeat the AND THIS … mantra as many times as desired, inserting a feeling word. When ready, we can move on with the day enjoying the freedom that comes from taking a pause.

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC, an education-based mindfulness meditation center offering workshops, classes and coaching for children, families, classrooms and individuals. For more information please go visit the website MindfulFrontiers.net.

Published March 10, 2022 in The Taos News

Self-Compassion (Karuna) Meditation for Parents

February is the month of red hearts, roses and chocolate. Valentine’s Day encourages us to express our love to others with cards and gifts. This custom is said to have started in the 1500swith commercial cards appearing in the 1700s. 

Usually, in this column, I share meditation practices for the entire family to do together. This month I’d like to invite adults in the family to practice unconditional love for themselves. The practice of Karuna is one in which we generate compassion for ourselves. In the book “Self-Compassion for Parents: Nurture Your Child by Caring for Yourself,” Susan M. Pollak writes, “…have you ever had the wish that a wise and compassionate person would show up at your doorstep just when you needed it the most – when your toddler has a meltdown, when your daughter gets bullied in high school, when you disagree with your partner about parenting, or when you’re just plain overwhelmed?” The following meditation practice encourages us to take on the role of this wise and compassionate guide. Self-compassion, or Karuna, gives us permission to offer the comfort we would share with a friend or loved one to ourselves.

Kindness and Self-Compassion practice for parents:

  • Start by finding a quiet space where you will not be disturbed. Your bedroom, the bathroom, a closet or even the car works. If the sun is shining through the window, that’s an added bonus.
  • Sit in a comfortable position on the floor or on a cushion or chair. Close your eyes if that feels ok. Otherwise, just stare at a neutral spot in front of you.
  • Begin by noticing your breath going in and out of the body, either at the nostrils, the chest or the belly. Using curiosity, follow the flow of the breath from the very start of the inhale, all the way through to the exhale. You can experiment with pausing a couple of seconds at the end of the in-breath and at the end of the out-breath. (This is a form of box breathing). Slowing down the breath activates the parasympathetic nervous system and welcomes calm and tranquility.
  • Once you feel relaxed, notice any emotions or feelings. Is there tension in the neck? Do you have a headache? Is there residual anger or fear? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired? See if you can identify and label the feeling or emotion. Usually, when we slow down and get curious, something comes to the surface that needs our attention. 
  • Now, allowing that emotion and sensation to be as it is, start rocking the body in any direction that feels right. Just as you rock your baby to sleep, you are rocking your emotions to stillness. You may like to put one or both hands on your heart, calling in warmth and compassion.
  • Now, ask yourself these questions: “What do I need?” “What does my body need?” Pause and listen for a response. 
  • Take a few minutes to be open to whatever comes up, without judging or censoring your response. You may choose to write this down on paper or just sit with it for several more breaths.
  • With this information in mind, create a mantra for yourself for the rest of this meditation using the following phrases. May I be … May my body be … (fill in the blank for yourself)
    • (For example, May I feel loved. May my body relax. May I feel safe. May my body be at ease.)
  • Repeat your mantra while breathing slowly for as long as you can before ending your meditation with a smile and a sense of gratitude for taking time for yourself.

A quick version of this can be used when you find yourself caught up by emotions or reactions during the day. Stop, take a few slow breaths, ask yourself what you need and create a mantra to repeat. Try it anytime you need some self-compassion.

published in The Taos News, February 10, 2022

Small hearts can hold lots of gratitude

Mindful eating practice for families

Gratitude is the theme for November with Thanksgiving and Chanukah holidays coming up. Practicing gratitude is an extremely important skill because it brings joy and appreciation to our life through the power of the heart. It’s mental health and a daily attitude that helps us connect with that which brings us joy. Mindful eating is a perfect mindfulness activity for the month of November and one that can be practiced any time that food is available.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” 

– A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Appreciation through kindness

Gratitude is defined as “readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness” (Webster online dictionary). What’s important in this definition is the willingness to appreciate and to incorporate kindness. We may be appreciative of what we have, what we don’t have, how we feel, or how we are experiencing life and we relate to this with kindness. Being grateful helps us alleviate suffering by bringing our awareness to the positive instead of the negative. It is also a way to practice open-hearted kindness towards others and ourselves.

Daily gratitude practices can be a way to focus on the positive

During this global pandemic, mental health has been affected by stress, worry, and a general malaise that we are all experiencing. As a long-time meditation practitioner and teacher, gratitude practice is a staple in my daily routine. I keep a gratitude journal in which I write what I’m grateful for either at the start or end of the day. I find that practicing gratitude brings present-moment awareness and a way to wind down the mind.

Parenting is challenging so gratitude is a family activity that reaps benefits for everyone.

As a parent to a teenager, I try to model being grateful to remind my family of the benefits of this practice. We often ask each other what we are grateful for at the dinner table or before retiring for the night. We say a gratitude prayer before we eat, thanking all that had a part in the meal. My daughter and husband are getting better at training the mind to focus more on the positive aspects of the day. My family has learned about the power of attraction and when we think positive thoughts, we attract more gratitude and positivity and feelings of well-being. It doesn’t take a lot of time to practice this and can be as simple as pausing, taking three long deep breaths, reflecting on the present moment, and then choosing something or someone for which to be grateful. The practice does take repetition to become routine and it is well worth the effort.  That’s why it is called “a practice.”

Some aspects of life for which we can be grateful:

  • A place to live
  • Work that sustains
  • Food that nourishes the body
  • Feelings that bring awareness to the self
  • Pets who bring unconditional love
  • Family with whom we can communicate 
  • A mind that can choose what to think about
  • A heart that can be open to compassion and empathy
  • A body that is healthy and able to move freely
  • Open spaces in which to exercise
  • Talents we can share with others
  • The present moment in which reality is positive

This gratitude practice is inspired by Thank the Farmer from Mindful Games by Susan Kaiser Greenland and is a mindful eating practice that is perfect for the holiday season. 

Choose a person to “lead” the meditation practice. This person will read the instructions as well as participate. This is a slow practice so make sure to take your time.

  1. Start by picking one item of food. A raisin is commonly used. I have also used popcorn or a piece of cookie. It must be small as this is not a meal or even a snack. It is a mindfulness practice and using our 5 senses, we will explore the story of this food.
  2. With the food in your fingers, notice what it feels like. Smooth, rough, squishy, hard, etc.
  3. With your eyes, notice what it looks like. A cloud, a shape, a bumpy glob, etc.
  4. With your nose, notice what it smells like. Sweet, strong, weird, etc.
  5. With your ears and fingers, notice what it sounds like. Crackles, squeaky, etc.
  6. With your mind, consider where this food grew. A farm, a forest, a garden, etc.
  7. Consider who picked this food? A person, a machine, a family, etc.
  8. Ask yourself how it gets to the store? A truck, a car, a person brings it, etc.
  9. How did it get from the store to your home? Your parent, friend, sibling, etc.
  10. Now, we take a moment to feel gratitude for having this food to eat. Say, “thank you” to everyone who had a part in growing and bringing the food to your home. The farmer, the picker, the truck driver, etc.
  11. Now we put the food on our tongue and notice what it tastes like, before actually eating it. Don’t chew yet! Just let it sit there momentarily.
  12. Finally, we get to chew it… what does it taste like now, after all that mindful awareness? 
  13. Have you thought about your food this way before? Do you think it tastes differently now?

Thanks for trying out this practice. I’d love to hear what your family experienced. Email me at mindfulfrontiers@gmail.com.

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director of Mindful Frontiers LLC, an education-based mindfulness meditation center in northern New Mexico offering classes, workshops, and coaching to children, families, and individuals of all ages and meditation experience. Anne-Marie’s credentials are from Mindful Schools and Sage Institute for Creativity and Consciousness as well as an 8-week MBSR course. She is a retired NM level 3 licensed classroom teacher and has taught mindfulness to students since 2016.

For more information on Mindful Frontiers and meditation, see our website at MindfulFrontiers.net.

Being Grateful Is A Much Deeper Emotion

When comparing concepts it is helpful to have definitions in order to start from a common foundation of understanding.

In the Oxford Online Dictionary, Gratitude is defined as the “readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Thankful is defined as “pleased and relieved.”

One can right away see a difference emerging between these terms that can aid in making comparisons.

Being grateful is showing appreciation with kindness, whereas being thankful is simply to be pleased and relieved.

Interesting, isn’t it, that to be thankful has a side effect of being “relieved”? Relieved from what one might ask? Thanking seems to be something we do to be because of a sense of obligation.

Remember “the magic word” that we were reminded of growing up? It’s expected that we give thanks for something that has been given to us or an action that someone does for us. Once we say, “thank you”, we’re off the hook, so to speak.

Gratitude seems a deeper response as it contains kindness and appreciation for what we’ve been offered without prior expectation.

“Gratitude is an emotion expressing an appreciation for what one has as opposed to what one wants”, according to Psychology Today.

Furthermore, Harvard Medical School offers that gratitude is a “thankful appreciation for what one receives – tangible or intangible – as they acknowledge the goodness in their lives…”

Apparently being grateful is a much deeper emotion or response to receiving something than being thankful because there is an inherent kindness needed in gratitude.

The response comes from the heart and from being mindful of what was generously offered so the feeling lasts longer.

So, it seems that we get more personal benefit from being grateful and it would be something one would like to cultivate.

Mindful meditation is a practice that helps us be more aware of thoughts, sensations and even to feel gratitude for all that we have in our lives, at least in the present moment, anyway.

The more one integrates gratitude, the more comfortable it will become. With practice one may well notice a change in oneself by feeling grateful as it fills the heart with kindness.

Published in Human Window By Martin Caparrotta  
Updated on 30 October 2020