Meditation with students – Mindful Frontiers LLC

Mindfulness in Daily Life: Anything Can Be Done Mindfully

“We have the ability to work wonders. If we live mindfully in everyday life, walk mindfully, and are full of love and caring, then we create a miracle and transform the world into a wonderful place.” (Thich Nhat Hanh from “Moments of Mindfulness”, 2013

Mindfulness can be brought into our daily activities so that anything we do becomes a kind of meditation. Doing the dishes, cleaning the house, driving the car, drinking coffee or tea, and walking with a pet can all be done mindfully. The key to mindfulness is to pay attention to one thing at a time and really enjoy what we are doing.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, and peace activist, wrote extensively about mindfulness in daily life. “Mindfulness is the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment. It is the continuous practice of touching life deeply in every moment of daily life. To be mindful is to be truly alive, present, and at one with those around you and with what you are doing. We bring our body and mind into harmony while we wash the dishes, drive the car, or take our morning shower.” Thay (as he is referred to by his followers), taught that anything we do can be meditation.

When we engage in an activity mindfully we slow down and REALLY pay attention with applied concentration and open curiosity. I have noticed that when mindfulness is brought to an activity it becomes really enjoyable. The point of doing daily activities more slowly and mindfully is so that our body and mind may relax as we pay attention to what we are doing right now, rather than thinking about or ruminating about things that happened in the past or that may or may not happen in the future.

When I teach mindfulness to children and families, we engage all the senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. What do we see right now? What do we smell, touch, taste, and hear right now as we are doing this together? These practices help with focussed attention so that we are less distracted as we go about a routine activity and we enjoy what we are doing more. Thay reminds us to smile as we go about our daily activities. This raises feelings of positivity.

This month let’s really pay attention to activities we engage in together. The following practice can be used during any activity to bring mindfulness into the shared experience.

Mindfulness in Daily Life Family Practice

1. Choose an activity to experience mindfully: Washing the dishes, Walking the dog, Driving to school, Coloring, or Setting the table. You choose the activity. The practice is the same.
2. Begin by consciously identifying what you are doing right now together. Smile to raise the positive attitude of body and mind.
3. The practice welcomes all the senses: sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste. The leader in the practice asks the following questions one at a time, allowing for individual experience.
4. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you feel? What do you taste? For example, if we are washing dishes, we identify the dish we are washing and notice its texture, color, and design. What sounds do we hear as the cloth rubs the surface or the dishes touch one another? How does the water temperature feel on our hands? What does the soap smell like and is there a sense of taste? (Sometimes smell and taste are related in the body)
5. Each sense is invited and a quiet moment is allowed for everyone to have their experience. We invite patience and awareness and don’t hurry to the next sense.
6. When the activity is complete, we stand up tall, take a deep breath in and out, and smile outwardly and inwardly. Congratulations on bringing mindfulness into your daily life!

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder Mindful Frontiers LLC and has 20+ years of meditation experience. She guides vipassana-style meditation through workshops, classes, and labyrinth walks for children, families, classrooms and individuals. Mindfulness meditation and labyrinth facilitation credentials are from Sage Institute, Veriditas, MindfulSchools and MBSR. For more information and to sign up for our seasonal newsletter, please visit MindfulFrontiers.net.

Originally published, May 18, 2023

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Tonglen practice for awakening compassion

Children have an innate capacity for generating kindness towards others.

One of my favorite meditation practices is Tonglen and a well-known teacher of this practice is Pema Chödrön. The word tonglen comes from Tibetan language and translates as giving and taking. Tong means giving or sending, and len means receiving or taking. Pema explains that in tonglen practice “we visualize taking in the pain of others with every in-breath and sending out whatever will benefit them on the out-breath. In the process, we … begin to feel love for both ourselves and others; we begin to take care of ourselves and others.” In basic terms, tonglen meditation uses visualization and breath-focus to transform negative energy into positive.

I first learned about tonglen during a meditation-leader program at Sage Institute for Creativity and Consciousness from which I graduated in 2021. I was so intrigued with tonglen that my final paper was about comparing the practice to the heart language found in poetry.

Historically, tonglen originated in India and was brought to Tibet around the 11th century as a way to help those who were suffering from serious diseases, and also so people might heal themselves so they could continue to help others.

Tonglen is similar to Loving Kindness (Mettà) in that we are using the transformative power of the heart to channel healing. Although the overall intention of these practices is similar, tonglen is different in that we actually welcome suffering into our hearts. We feel the pain and sadness before allowing the heart to feel compassion and extending it outward into the world.

Compassion is not the same as empathy. A working definition of compassion says it is “the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.” Empathy is “the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.” (greatergood.berkeley.edu) So, we can understand the subtle difference to be that empathy is an ability to understand another’s emotions, whereas with compassion we also desire to relieve their suffering.

Pema explains the compassion practice further: “Usually, we look away when we see someone suffering. Their pain brings up our fear or anger; it brings up our resistance and confusion. So we can also do tonglen for all the people just like ourselves—all those who wish to be compassionate but instead are afraid, who wish to be brave but instead are cowardly. Rather than beating ourselves up, we can use our personal stuckness as a stepping stone to understanding what people are up against all over the world. Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. We can use our personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.”

The following short tonglen practice can be offered for those who are ill, those who are dying or have already passed, or those people in pain of any kind. Although this is a shortened version, tonglen is traditionally an extended meditation practice.

Tonglen practice for families and groups. Young children can be invited to draw during this practice and use their creativity to channel compassion.

Sitting in stillness with eyes closed. Generate open awareness as you watch the breath go in and out, inviting the desire to fully awaken to compassion. Bring your attention to the heart and welcome feelings of love – this could be a golden light, an image of the Buddha, a “feel-good” being, or just an overall feeling of warmth. You may also choose to place your hands on your heart.
Visualization of a person’s suffering using the breath and sensations. Breathing in and out, welcome awareness of yours or someone else’s suffering. Name the suffering (sadness, grief, pain). See the situation as it is in as much detail as you wish.
Receiving and taking in suffering. Focus on the situation by seeing an image of the suffering. Use the in-breath to receive the image and with the out-breath, transform it into something more positive. You may try using smoke that changes into healing white light. You can also see the person as being in pain and then visualize their face turning into a smile. As you do this, recite several times: May this pain and suffering be released.
Expanding compassion by extending it out to all who are in the same situation. Using the same in-and-out breath practice described above, visualize and welcome awareness of all who feel the same kind of suffering. On each out-breath offer them the mantra: May this pain and suffering be released.
Conclusion of the practice. Sit in silence for several more breaths, enjoying the feeling of release and transformation, Recite the final mantra: May all beings be well and live with ease. When ready, open your eyes slowly, bringing awareness back to the space you’re in, noticing your surroundings and all sensations that are present within you.

(Please note that mindfulness and meditation are not a substitute for medical therapy.)

Originally published in The Taos News, January 5, 2022

The Impermanence of Life:

Mindfulness and the change of seasons

I received an email newsletter from Ten Percent Happier, a meditation app that offers many types of meditation and teachings. The article shared was entitled, “The Joy and Dread of Autumn” by Jay Michaelson and the topic connected to my heart. It speaks to the impermanence of life and how nature dies with the change of seasons. Michaelson writes, “At this time each autumn, as leaves begin to fall in earnest … I actually feel a desire to somehow paste them back onto the trees.” Reading this I thought to myself, “yeah, that’s how I feel.”

Surely, fall is a beautiful season and recently my family was in New Hampshire where the sugar maple leaves change to deep colors of red and maroon. Along with the more common yellow and orange, fall’s palette is really spectacular. Even on the ground, the leaves create a gorgeous contrast between the still-green grass and beige sidewalks. It’s as if the forests are on fire with color and the sparks are on the ground.

“Even if the autumn leaves are riotously beautiful, the bare branches of February are bleak and dour,” writes the author, who says he suffers from seasonal affective disorder. The mind knows that death is near so with the colored leaves soon turning brown, the trees will be bare for the next 6 or 7 months. I realize that I’m a green-season person even though I have an autumn birthday and am grateful to live in a region where there is sunshine all year. So in this conundrum, mindfulness helps me practice with emotions, thoughts and sensations conjured up by the change of seasons. I notice the grasping and aversion felt in my body as churning in the stomach and heaviness of heart. I understand that these feelings are uncomfortable, even depressing. I allow myself to explore the sadness when fall is giving way to winter and remind myself in a moment of wisdom that this is a predictable journey of life and death which is temporary and will in a few months transition again to the seasons of rebirth. I try to make friends with my emotions using self-compassion, reminding myself that the flowers and green leaves WILL return. Apple crisp and pumpkin pie are delicious. Wood burning in the fireplace is cozy and all is well in this moment. It’s the cycle of life.

The following family meditation is done outdoors on a hike or where ever we can find an area to be among trees. We keep eyes open and can choose to either sit or lie down for this practice.

Autumn Family Meditation

Begin by feeling the areas of the body in contact with the ground. Sitting, the feet and legs are touching the earth while lying down, the whole back body will be heavy and grounded.

The leader directs everyone to take several deep breaths in through the nose and out the mouth to settle the nervous system and center the body in the meditation space.

The leader then asks everyone how they feel about the change of seasons. Some like it just fine while others may be feeling a little grasping for summer or aversion of fall. It’s a personal thing either way and no need to answer out loud. This is a moment of introspective contemplation.

Next we do a body scan, moving our attention progressively from one end of the body to the other while noticing any areas that are tense or tight. Those are where the emotions of the change of seasons are physically being felt.

Looking around, what do we see in the trees and plants around us. What colors are the leaves, branches, plants, vines, etc? Are there signs of life or is everything pretty much asleep?

Using the sense of touch or body sensations, what’s the temperature of the air? Cool, warm, etc. Is there a scent to the change of seasons? Dirt, decaying leaves, evergreens…

What nature sounds are we aware of? Birds, squirrels, a breeze in the trees blowing leaves to the ground? There may be fewer animal sounds when the season is changing to winter.

Once the atmosphere of the practice has been established, we continue to notice the in and out breath and remain in silence, allowing the body and mind to interact with the breath and the environment around us, noticing what our awareness wishes to tune into.

When enough time has passed, we take a few deep breaths together and look around us, mindfully seeing details of nature’s beauty that is a constant in the cycle of life.

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC, an education-based mindfulness meditation center offering workshops, classes and coaching for children, families, individuals and classrooms. For more information please visit the website at MindfulFrontiers.net.

https://www.taosnews.com/opinion/columns/the-impermanent-cycle-of-life/article_50a53031-a9c6-5a2d-9d9a-8656aa735797.html

Awaken curiosity and creativity

Encouraging mindfulness during creative endeavors.

Welcoming mindfulness into artistic projects is a fun way to incorporate curiosity and creativity into our daily life. Many of us have seen the extreme concentration of children when they are fully engaged in an artistic project: drawing, coloring, finger painting, or writing a story. Their whole body is engaged. I remember my daughter would stick her tongue out when focused on a project and when I saw that I knew she was in her creative zone.

I am a life-long creative and always have an artistic project in the works. Knitting, crocheting, sewing, cooking, and writing fill my heart with a joyful calm. The mind is focused, the heart is connected and I know this is a special time. Recently, I began guiding monthly Meditative Creations classes. We use the power of mindfulness to enhance focus and curiosity. Whether it is coloring a mandala, free-drawing, knitting, or journaling, mindfulness awakens what is happening inside and out. Using mindfulness, we pay close attention and use the five senses as a way to invite curiosity.

In an article entitled Mindfulness and Creativity published in the Canadian Teacher Magazine, Peggy Bochun quotes Harvard neuroscientist, Dr. Daniel Siegel. “Mindfulness helps fine-tune brain connections and creates integration by developing new neural pathways.” When we incorporate mindfulness into creative activities, the brain can focus intently on what is being created and we are able to integrate “the whole of the body, both hemispheres of the brain, and memory” which develops new ways of engaging with the project.

For example, when we are drawing, mindfulness helps bring full attention to the hand-eye activity. The mind is in the background as we focus intently on what the hands are doing. We notice the colors, the texture, the feeling of the instruments in the hand, and the sound of drawing on paper. When knitting or crocheting, we bring full attention to the movement of the needles or hook and the sensation of the yarn in the fingers and hands. The sense of smell can be used to notice the odor of colored markers or pencils as we draw or paint designs. The eyes are engaged as we pay attention to the colors of our creation as well as the rhythmic pattern of the activity. Periodically, we may stop, breathe, and notice our whole body in space playing a role in channeling creativity.

The following is a group activity and each person has their own project to work on. The practice requires a leader who guides everyone through the five senses as well as inviting moments of silence.

Meditative Creations Practice

We begin by describing to each other what we are creating. Just a simple sharing of the project. “I’m drawing a picture. I’m coloring a mandala. I’m knitting a scarf, etc.”

We begin by noticing our body and our breath. Taking a few slow, deep breaths in the nose and out the mouth, we allow the body and the nervous system to calm down. This helps us to be ready to focus on our project.

The leader will then invite everyone to bring mindfulness through the five senses by asking the following phrases and encouraging participants to reply silently to themselves. This practice requires silence and individual attention. (If helpful, background acoustic music can be played).

What do you see? The eyes are needed to direct what you’re doing.

What do you feel with your fingers? The sense of touch is a central part of your project. Do you feel the pencil, marker, hook, needle, etc? Is the instrument hard, smooth, sharp, or dull?

What do you hear? Is the pencil or marker making a sound as it draws or colors on the paper? Do the needles make a clicking sound? What sound does your project make?

What do you smell? Is there a smell to the project or materials you’re using? Or is there a scent in the environment where we are all creating?

What do you taste? Sometimes smell and taste are closely related and if there is a smell to the project or environment, it may bring up a taste or remind us of a past activity.

When done, we put down our projects, close our eyes, take a few deep breaths, notice our body in space and then open the eyes and look closely at what we’ve created. The leader may choose to ask participants what they notice about their project or whether there are thoughts and realizations that have come up as a result of doing this meditative creation practice.

Published in the Taos News, October 13, 2022

Creating and Sustaining YOUR meditation practice: Meditation 101 – a 6-week course at Be Meditation.

Imagine this scene: You come home from work after a long day at work; tired and hungry. Walking in, you sense tension in the environment. Your first reaction is, “ugh, there goes my relaxing evening!” Then, you remember your mindfulness practice and take a couple deep breaths, feel your feet on the ground, hands at your side and notice your breathing in the body. This switches your attitude to one of curiosity and equanimity. When your partner rushes out of the bedroom with your screaming child in their arms, you smile, take a breath or two, remember self-compassion and conjure empathy for the situation. Your response is, “Hi there. I’m so glad to see you both. Can I join in the fun?” And the evening ends up filled with laughter and love.

Mindful meditation is a practice with wide-spread benefits, including general relaxation, full-body rest, present moment awareness and emotional wellbeing. There are many types of meditation and while its history goes back many generations into ancient Asian cultures and spiritual traditions, meditation came to the US relatively recently: during the 20th century. Jon Kabat Zinn introduced Mindfulness meditation to medical center patients over 40 years ago. His Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) techniques have more recently taken hold for the general public. From its inception MBSR has spurred a mindfulness movement that is proving crucial to our spiritual and wellness transformation.

Being aware of the present moment by focusing on an attention anchor — sounds, sensations, or most commonly, the breath — is the fundamental principle of meditation. Learning to “be present” takes practice and is the foundation of mindfulness. Anyone can learn mindfulness meditation with curious intention and personal commitment. The beginner will find it easier to learn meditation with guidance from experienced teachers at a center such as Be Meditation. Creating and Sustaining YOUR meditation practice: Meditation 101, is an accessible way to learn meditation or renew a hibernating practice. The class will be held for six Thursdays (September 23, 30 and October 7, 14, 21, 28, 2021) at 8:00 pm EST / 5:00 pm PST and each class is 75 minutes.

We know the benefits of meditation and mindfulness; starting and sustaining a practice can be challenging. This 6-week course will give you the foundational skills to bring the powerful tools of meditation into your life in a meaningful way. Meditation is not one-size-fits-all, so we invite you to gather with like-minded people from all over the world and explore the many ways meditation can transform your life. And Inviting a friend to register with you adds a motivating and fun aspect to the course.

Why meditate? One reason is that meditation quiets the mind and settles the nervous system. The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) is a bodily system that determines how we respond to emotional experiences. It is made up of the sympathetic (SNS) and parasympathetic (PNS) nervous systems. “These two systems are activated in times of arousal or recovery. Put simply, SNS activation leads to a “fight or flight” response, and PNS activation leads to a “rest and digest” response.” (Roxanna Salim, November 12th, 2019, Imotions.com). Although, as the name suggests, the ANS is automatic, we can stimulate the PNS response through meditation and deep breathing. By quieting the mind’s reactivity and calming down attachment to emotional thoughts, we settle fight, flight, freeze reactions, thereby stimulating relaxation which helps our body and mind come back to homeostasis.

Another reason is that through mindful awareness we learn about ourselves and our patterned reactions. By sitting in meditation and practicing present-moment awareness, we can pause and explore with curiosity and compassion, our internal and external environments. From this attitude of bearing witness, we learn to accept with equanimity what is going on right now in the present moment: the only time that reality actually happens. Practicing noticing what is going on in the present brings freedom of choice for how we respond to life’s experiences. Viktor Frankl famously wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ” That freedom of response may be the most powerful reason to learn mindfulness meditation.

Although there are many meditation traditions, using breath awareness is ubiquitous to all styles. Some of the meditation practices that can help settle the nervous system include body scanning, sense awareness, mantras and breath practice. Using the breath as our attention anchor, we stimulate the vagus nerve (PNS) and move emotional responses away from the limbic brain to the frontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for logic and thinking. This may sound contradictory since many have heard that meditation involves “letting go of thinking”. Actually, this is a myth and one of the topics that students will learn about in this beginning meditation class.

Topics of discussion will include how meditation affects the brain, loving kindness meditation, and using mantras and gratitude in mindfulness practice. Students will also learn how to set up a meditation space, and ways to bring mindfulness into their daily routine. Between each class, students will be encouraged to practice at home the skills learned in class. A central aspect of the course is Connection and participants will have the opportunity to share their learning with others in the class.

Imagine this scene: You come home from a full day at work. Your partner and child greet you at the door with smiles on their faces. After putting down your things, the three of you settle down together for a family mindful moment before sharing the day’s adventures and then planning the rest of the evening together. Be Meditation is excited to welcome you to the life-changing practice of mindful meditation through this 6-week course. Registration is now open: https://www.union.fit/orgs/be-meditation

Mindful Communications

Notes from the online course through MindfulSchools.org in Aug-Sept 2018.

The process takes its inspiration from Non Violent Communication techniques introduced by Marshall Rosenberg. The teacher of this course, Oren Jay Sofer, has written the book “Say What You Mean” which goes into more details with the precepts of mindful communication.

First step: lead with presence. Observe self, others, situation.

Second step: come from curiosity and care. Share feelings.

Third step: focus on what matters. What are the needs.

First Foundation: Presence: Effective communication requires presence. Stay aware of your presence in the conversation; maintain focus; honesty with self about what’s happening. The more aware we are, the more choice we have. Accept the unknown of what is going to happen and new possibilities of the dialogue.

Second Foundation: Intention: Intention determines direction. Intentions shape experience; Be aware of habitual conflict styles in order to transform underlying beliefs. Avoid thoughts of blame and criticism. Everything we do, we do to meet a need. People are more likely to listen when they feel heard. Reflect before responding.

Third Foundation: Attention: Attention shapes experience. Differentiate between “strategies” and “needs” to have more choice and clarity. The more we understand one another, the easier it is to find mutually beneficial solutions. Establish mutual understanding before problem-solving. Awareness of emotions supports ability to choose how we participate in conversation. Take responsibility of our feelings, connecting them to our needs makes it easier to be heard. Hear others’ feelings as a reflection of their needs which helps us understand the other person without blame, the need to agree or feeling responsible for their emotions. Having empathy for ourselves makes it easier to listen to others. Stating clearly what happened without judgment or evaluation aids in being heard. Observations rather than judgement or evaluation. Check in with other for understanding; use fewer words and more sincerity; speak in short chunks makes understanding easier. Be clear about what is wanted and why to get more creative about solution. Awareness of our reactivity to help make wiser choices of what to say. When in conflict, listen more closely to the other person first; increases chance of their willingness to listen to us.