Loving Kindness and Self-Compassion Meditation Offers Big Benefits

Children are born with an innate capacity to give and receive affection and compassion. We’ve noticed how young children absorb the smiles of others and instinctively reciprocate their heart-melting energy. We’ve watched a young child shed tears seeing another being in distress and noticed how they can join in laughter with others. As they grow older, this spontaneity wanes as life affects their lived experiences. They find out that others are not always kind and loving, that people can display hurtful behaviors, and life may become more challenging to navigate.  

Some ways to bring mindfulness into our daily lives are to pause, check in and genuinely wish ourselves and others well.

While the world is sometimes a hard place, mindfulness can help assuage the feelings that come from suffering, known as dukkha in the Pali language. The Four Noble Truths are a core concept in Buddhism, outlining the nature of suffering and the path to liberation from it. They are: the truth of suffering (dukkha), the truth of the origin of suffering (samudaya), the truth of the cessation of suffering (nirodha), and the truth of the path to the cessation of suffering (magga). The Noble Eightfold Path shows us a way to navigate the effects of suffering in our lives. This path is a set of eight interconnected principles that guide a wholehearted lifestyle.

The Noble Eightfold Path is a holistic approach to living a mindful and ethical life, with each aspect supporting and strengthening the others. Two of the paths, Right Intention and Right Mindfulness, include the cultivation of Loving Kindness and Present Moment Awareness. Through these areas of emotional intelligence, we learn to accept the changing nature of our life experiences, our own inner landscape, and the moods of others by generating compassion.

Some ways to bring mindfulness into our daily lives are to pause, check in and genuinely wish ourselves and others well. In the words of Thich Naht Hanh, “The first element of true love is loving kindness. The essence of loving kindness is being able to offer happiness. You can be the sunshine for another person. You can’t offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself. Learn how to practice mindfulness in such a way that you can create [moments] of happiness and joy for your own nourishment. Then you have something to offer the other person.”

Mettà or Loving Kindness meditation is a guided practice that uses phrases that you repeat silently as you visualize yourself and others in the mind’s eye. Some basic phrases are: “May you be well; may you be happy; may you be peaceful and at ease.” Mettà takes a bit longer than a formal sitting practice, and it involves a step-by-step process as we express well-wishes to people in our lives, ourselves, and our community. It is helpful to be guided in this meditation so that we can be fully present and mindful of our body, breath, and mind as we follow the guidance and silently recite the phrases. In time, it is possible to guide ourselves in Mettà or to offer it on the fly as we go about our daily activities.

If you’re interested in learning more about the benefits of Mettà / Loving Kindness meditation and being guided in a formal practice, Mindful Frontiers offers a variety of options. At our Insight Timer portal, you will find a user-friendly online platform (app) offering a wide range of meditations. You may also wish to consider a private workshop for you and/or your family.


Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers, a B Corp based in Taos, whose mission is to welcome a mindful future, one present moment at a time, and is dedicated to promoting community wellness through mindfulness and meditation. We offer individuals, families and organizations a variety of practices designed to support and nurture positive social-emotional growth. Lifelong Taoseña Anne-Marie is a certified meditation leader and labyrinth facilitator. Mindful Frontiers is available on social media, on Insight Timer at insighttimer.com/amemanuelli, and at ⁠MindfulFrontiers.net⁠.

Meditation and Memory: Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Neuroscience

Among the well-known benefits of meditation, which include physical relaxation, attention enhancement and better sleep, the mind-body intervention of meditation has been found to contribute positively to the neuroplasticity of the human brain. 

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to form structural and functional neural connections throughout life. At a young age, our brains grow exponentially, and during adolescence, this means organizing thoughts and memories to create a healthy understanding of our life experiences. Neural adaptation allows the brain to learn new skills, recover from injury, and adapt to changing environments. Many studies have shown that meditation helps our brain’s memory capacity and cognitive function. So it seems we can teach an old dog new tricks and meditation is one way to go about it.

Practicing meditation trains your brain to focus, and when we add the power of mindfulness — paying attention, on purpose, to one thing in the present moment — it helps us redirect our minds when we get distracted. An article by Dr. Scott Loeb published in Lone Star Neurology explored meditation and memory, stating: “By repeatedly focusing attention and cultivating meditation, it strengthens specific neural pathways. Mental exercise through meditation builds stronger connections between cells.” 

Meditation practitioners learn to work with how they perceive the world, ourselves, and others. This can positively affect our lives, behaviors, and relationships.

In the book “Altered Traits,” psychologists Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson discuss research they performed on masters of meditation vs. novice meditators. Using MRI data and gray matter voxels, they examined the brain of Tibetan yogi Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, who began meditating at nine years old and comes from a lineage of Tibetan Buddhism teachers and masters. Rinpoche’s brain looked about eight years younger than what would be considered normal for a 40-year-old. 

Additionally, the ability of master meditators to keep their minds focused for long periods indicates that meditation develops areas of the brain engaged in structural growth. Meditation can stimulate changes in the brain that encourage development in the hippocampus, a region vital for memory. As we age, using meditation to stimulate brain areas that enhance attention and memory may be another reason to bring these practices into our lives. 

In Buddhism, meditation practitioners learn to work with how we perceive the world, ourselves, and others. This can positively affect our lives, behaviors, and relationships. Although the Tibetan master Rinpoche didn’t need proof of the benefits of his lifelong practice, it was interesting that science corroborated what he already knew from Buddhist philosophy. He has since written extensively about his experience collaborating with brain scientists in the book The Joy of Living. 

Meditation also helps maintain attention and working memory during stressful times. Indeed, this is one of the most common impetuses for bringing meditation into a family’s routine. One study on human resources personnel, as explained on neurosciencenews.com, “showed that those who underwent MBSR training were able to maintain their attention and working memory capacity, even during periods of high stress, compared to a control group that did not receive the training.”

What about the most problematic aspect of memory loss, dementia? A study published in the National Library of Medicine in which “the effects of Kirtan Kriya meditation and music listening on cognitive outcomes in adults experiencing subjective cognitive decline, a strong predictor of Alzheimer’s disease,” suggested that the practice of meditation “can significantly enhance both subjective memory function and objective cognitive performance in adults with subjective cognitive decline, and may offer promise for improving outcomes in this population.” 

Another study done in Boston and published in Virginian Rehabilitation & Wellness found that meditation strengthened the cerebral cortex, an area of the brain that handles mental functions such as learning, concentration and memory: “Regular meditation increases blood flow to the brain, which leads to a more robust network of blood vessels in the cerebral cortex, which reinforces our ability for memory capacity.”

The potential for using meditation to enhance the brain’s neuroplasticity is exciting. Harvard researchers reviewed more than a dozen recent studies examining the effects of either mindfulness or cognitive training on older adults with MCI (mild cognitive impairment). “For people with MCI, practicing mindfulness over several weeks to months seemed to sharpen attention, memory, and other mental skills, and ease anxiety and depression. Similarly, cognitive training was associated with better memory, executive function, and mood.” Indeed, it is exciting to scientifically notice fundamental changes in key brain areas that traditionally change and weaken over our lifespan. 


Regardless of how it’s been proven, incorporating meditation into a family’s daily routine seems like a win-win option for members of all ages, and practicing meditators will confirm these benefits in their own lives. Many options exist if you want to incorporate meditation into your daily routine or your family’s daily routine. Pre-recorded practices can easily be found online, and Mindful Frontiers offers a wide range of guided meditations on Insight Timer and YouTube. A personalized workshop can also be arranged if one-on-one guidance works better for you.


Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC, a Benefit Corporation (BCorp) based in Taos, New Mexico, whose mission is to welcome a mindful future, one present moment at a time, and is dedicated to promoting community wellness through mindfulness and meditation. We offer individuals, families and organizations a variety of practices designed to support and nurture positive social-emotional growth. Anne-Marie, lifelong Taoseña, is a certified meditation leader and labyrinth facilitator. Mindful Frontiers can be found on social media and the Insight Timer app. The website is MindfulFrontiers.net.


Initially published in The Taos News, May 8, 2025

Welcoming a Mindful New Year: How to Bring Meditation into Your Family’s Routine.

Many people will resolve to change something as they prepare to start a new year. Most New Year’s resolutions start with honest determination and end within a few weeks or months with lassitude. 

Meditation and mindfulness benefit the entire family and here are some tips on bringing it into your family’s daily routine and making it stick. It isn’t difficult; like any change, it takes willingness, vulnerability, and practice. Meditation is a “practice” for good reason: it takes repetition, just like an exercise routine, to make it part of our schedule. So how can a family bring mindfulness meditation into an already-busy schedule? It’s simple: one breath, one present moment at a time, and practice.

The reasons for bringing mindfulness meditation (vipassana meditation) into your family’s life are well-researched and proven. 

  • Families learn how present-moment mindfulness awareness can bring relaxation and social-emotional well-being into their homes.
  • Children learn that they aren’t judged by their thoughts, sensations, and feelings.
  • Mindfulness is a way to feel good, just as we are as we settle the nervous system.
  • Parents model what it means to be confident yet relaxed, happy, and at ease and accept that life is never perfect.
  • Families build strong bonds through a shared activity; the time spent together invests in compassionate relationship-building.

When sitting on my meditation cushion, I invite presence and calm to my body through mindfulness. Usually, I start the day with a brief moment of watching my breath and noticing sensations in my body and thoughts that arise in my mind. This happens upon waking, while still lying in my bed. I spend a few minutes just noticing what’s happening inside me. Then, as I slowly reach full awakeness, I look around my room and see the colors and light coming through the windows. The sun’s rays stream into the room through hanging prisms that cast rainbows of color on the walls. This practice is at the root of how I treat myself and my family; some days more successful than others. I’m not immune to bouts of sadness, anger and frustration. I believe that practicing what’s called Engaged Parenting is a positive way to live. We may think we aren’t doing enough as parents, but I deeply believe that mindful parenting is enough. “The best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment,” says Thich Nhat Hanh. As we care for our children in the present moment, we care for the future.”

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC. Mindful Frontiers LLC is a Benefit Corporation (BCorp) based in Taos, New Mexico, dedicated to promoting community wellness through mindfulness. We offer schools and organizations a variety of mindfulness meditation tools designed to support and nurture positive social-emotional growth in individuals. Our mission is to “welcome a mindful future, one present moment at a time,” guiding people towards greater awareness, emotional balance, and a deeper connection with themselves and others. Anne-Marie is a certified meditation leader and a certified labyrinth facilitator. Featured practices can be found on the Welcoming a Mindful Future podcast and Insight Timer app. Our website is MindfulFrontiers.net.

Calming the Nervous System With Meditation

Using the five senses to settle and relax.

There are many ways to work with the stress of life. Listening to music, making art, exercising, etc. Mindfulness meditation is a practice that can be done anywhere, anytime. In as little as ten minutes a day, meditation can soothe the effect of anxiety on the body and mind over time and provide a go-to for times of stress. 

“Anxiety is something most of us have experienced at least once in our life. Public speaking, performance reviews, and new job responsibilities are some of the work-related situations that can cause even the calmest person to feel a little stressed”. (University of Rochester Medical Center).

  The effects of continued stress and anxiety, if not managed, can be quite unsettling. At Harvard Medical School, radiology instructor Gaëlle Desbordes is part of a community of researchers who have been studying how meditation works in recent decades. Desbordes and her colleagues have found that “there are a handful of key areas — including depression, chronic pain, and anxiety — in which well-designed, well-run studies have shown benefits for patients engaging in a mindfulness meditation program, with effects similar to other existing treatments.”

As a mindfulness and meditation instructor, I guide and coach students and individuals in practices that grow resilience into everyday life. Meditation is a centuries-old practice that has been proven to soothe stress and anxiety by bringing our moment-to-moment attention to what is actually happening in the present moment, and in doing so, we move reactions from the limbic part of the brain to the frontal cortex where logic and reason can take place. 

Ruminating is something that keeps us stuck in our anxiety and stressful thoughts as a spiral that keeps going around and around without end, much like recycling thoughts. The frontal and outer parts of the brain are where we can stop the spiraling of rumination by engaging our five senses: sight, touch, hearing, taste, and smell.

The following five-step exercise can be very helpful during periods of anxiety or stress by helping to ground us when our mind is recycling uncomfortable thoughts. Before starting this exercise, we pay attention to our breathing for a few minutes. Slow, deep, long breaths can prepare us for a structured meditation practice. Once you are comfortable following your breath, go through the steps that ground the mind and body by moving attention away from the rumination into a space where your entire body can be calmed.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Practice for Individuals and Families

5: Acknowledge FIVE things you SEE around you. It could be a pen, a spot on the ceiling, or anything in your surroundings. Breathe deeply as you acknowledge these things, really noticing the details.

4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can TOUCH around you. It could be your hair, a pillow, or the ground under your feet. Breathe into these feelings and notice the texture.

3: Acknowledge THREE things you HEAR. This could be any external sound. If you can hear your belly rumbling that also counts! See if you can move that attention to sounds outside the room you are in. Breathe as you are noticing the sounds and maybe even pay attention to the silence between them.

2: Acknowledge TWO things you can SMELL. Maybe you are in your office and smell a pencil, or maybe you are in your bedroom and smell perfume. If you need to take a brief walk to find a scent you could smell soap in your bathroom, or nature outside. The sense of smell can be rather subtle so allow yourself time to fully appreciate the scents.

1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can TASTE. What does the inside of your mouth taste like—gum, coffee, or the sandwich from lunch? If you don’t taste anything, that’s okay, too. Just identify what you taste and breathe with it, naming it as well.

When your practice has come to a close, sit with the breath a while longer, noticing how you feel. Next time you find yourself with anxiety or fear, do this practice as soon as you notice yourself starting to ruminate to invite grounding and relaxation.

Originally published in The Taos News, August 14, 2024

Photo credit: Chris Ensey for Unsplash

Inviting and Welcoming Silence: 

Building the capacity to be fully present through listening.

Awaken to the mystery of being here

and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence.

Have joy and peace in the temple of your senses.

Take time to celebrate the quiet miracles that seek no attention.

– John O’Donohue, poet

Have you ever just stopped what you were doing and listened? Deeply listened to the sounds and silence around you? Seems like an oxymoron to be encouraging silence and listening. The kind of silence I’m referring to is one where we are mindful of what is going on in the present moment, encouraging a deep awareness that comes from listening to what’s going on inside and outside the body. It is an invitation to put down electronics, the to-do lists, turn off social media engagement, and just be with our surroundings and our senses.

The first time a person tries to sit in meditation can be daunting. I’ve heard many times from those who say they’ve tried meditation and it “didn’t work” for them because they “couldn’t sit still” or they “couldn’t stop thinking.” Both of these expectations are myths to be debunked once and for all. 

Indeed, it is impossible to just sit down and stop thinking. Our minds are made to think and when we sit in meditation, there will be thoughts, lots of them. Sometimes, it can be quite challenging to calm the mental chatter, especially if it contains painful or fearful memories. In the beautiful book, “The Joy of Living”, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, a Tibetan monk, recounts how difficult meditation was for him as a child. “From earliest childhood, I was haunted by feelings of fear and anxiety… even after three years of sitting [in meditation] my anxiety increased…” After asking his father for meditation guidance his anxiety continued and his mind wouldn’t rest. “Years later, I would come to realize I … was simply becoming more aware of the constant stream of thoughts and sensations I’d never recognized before.” When we sit in meditation, there may be a period of hyperactivity as the body and mind learn to settle down and our awareness becomes more attuned to the silence.

Nonetheless, the benefits of sitting in meditation are well worth the effort. Some of these include positive mood and outlook, self-discipline and clear attention, healthy sleep patterns, and even increased pain tolerance.  To reap these benefits, meditation practice must be consistent so I encourage families to carve out a daily mindfulness moment, and if it is at the same time each day, the body and mind will look forward to the break. 

Rather than encouraging a purely Zen style of meditation (Zazen or Shikantaza) where we are supposed to “just sit, following the breath”, mindfulness of sound is something more attainable for beginning meditators, and especially for children. One of the great benefits of meditating on sound is that gradually we learn to detach from reacting to what we hear around us. This is called equanimity and is very helpful in dealing with life’s stresses and experiences. “You can simply listen to what other people say with a much more relaxed and balanced attitude, without being carried away by an emotional response.” (Rinpoche) We stop assigning meaning to sounds and we just notice them as basic content or just the stuff around us. Welcoming moments of silent awareness helps the body relax and be present. Mindfulness invites us to be at ease with all that is going on around us. 

The following practice offers a way to bring mindfulness of sound into your family’s routine and I encourage you to set aside fifteen to twenty minutes for this practice since it may take family members a little time to settle down at first. And it would be especially nice to do this practice outdoors.

Meditating on Sound

  1. Begin by just allowing your mind to rest for a few moments and for your body to relax into a comfortable posture. Take several deep, flowing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth as you also stretch the shoulders and neck muscles.  Also, notice the whole body and where it is in contact with your sitting area.
  2. Gradually, allow yourself to become aware of things you hear. Start by noticing sounds close to your ear, such as your heartbeat or your breath, and then move your awareness to things that occur naturally in your immediate surroundings. We can also extend that area to sounds further and further away.
  3. Cultivate a simple acknowledgment of sounds as you hear them. Just notice sounds and even find the pause or silence between the sounds you hear. It is easier to allow yourself to just be aware of everything around you, rather than to focus on a specific sound for too long so let yourself jump around a bit from sound to sound.
  4. Avoid being too rigid with your attention. As with most meditation, you will probably find that you can focus on the sounds for only a few seconds at a time before your mind wanders off. That’s okay. 
  5. When you notice that your mind has wandered into thought, just bring your focus back to a relaxed state and then return to noticing sounds and the silence between them.
  6. As your practice progresses, allow yourself to alternate between resting your attention on sounds and then allowing your mind to simply rest in a relaxed state. This is what is called open awareness practice. In time, the silence becomes more pronounced and our body and mind become more relaxed. We may even forget the sounds completely and just enjoy the whole experience with equanimity and complete presence.
  7. Young children can be encouraged to sit and color or write about what they hear. This allows them to be a bit active since sitting still may be difficult for young meditators. In time, all ages can sit in silence and listen to sounds around them. 

When your practice is complete, discuss what each person heard and how they felt about the sounds. Did they notice how to body responded to hearing these sounds? Journaling about the experience is also something that can be added to the practice.

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC. Mindful Frontiers LLC is a Benefit Corporation (BCorp) committed to Community Wellness by providing schools and organizations with mindfulness meditation tools that nurture positive social-emotional growth. With over two decades of meditation experience, Anne-Marie leads meditation workshops and provides coaching for children, families, individuals, groups, and classrooms. She is a certified meditation leader as well as a certified labyrinth facilitator. A full audio version of featured practices can be heard on the Welcoming a Mindful Future podcast. Our website can be accessed at MindfulFrontiers.net.

Inviting the Power of the Heart Through Meditation: 

Building resilience and meaningful relationships with others and ourselves.

“Your heart was made for love: for connection, belonging, and meaningful relationship with other people, beings, and the earth.”

Oren Jay Sofer Your Heart Was Made For This

In the recently published book entitled Your Heart Was Made For This, Oren Jay Sofer expounds on the power of the heart to meet a world in crisis. An important premise in his book is that “whatever the mind frequently thinks upon and ponders, that will become its inclination.” Where we place our mind’s attention is where our personal character and habits of thought will gravitate, much like a rut in the road that grabs us. This is part of the concept of “neuroplasticity” which basically means that our brains are malleable (adults as well as youth) and we can change how we think and act throughout our lives with intention, purpose, and practice. Sofer further explains that “If we do not shape the heart, the world will do it for us, and the world does not have our highest welfare in mind.”

One of my favorite meditation practices is Tonglen. The word tonglen comes from the Tibetan language and translates as giving and taking. Tong means giving or sending, and len means receiving or taking. Tonglen is similar to Loving Kindness (Mettà) in that we are using the transformative power of the heart to channel compassion. We acknowledge the suffering of the world and its beings and then visualize the suffering being transformed in the heart into compassion and then release it outward with intention, on an out-breath, for the betterment of the world.

Heart-based meditation practices such as tonglen and mettà are healthy ways to channel compassion into the world and our own lives. Focussing on the breath going in and out of the heart center is where we start this transforming process. One of the most powerful daily mindfulness practices is to watch where we place our mental attention as we go about our day. Taking a break from scrolling on an electronic device to sit in meditation is a valuable activity that shifts our focus from the external world to our internal environment and helps us notice what our mind is doing. Noticing what we are thinking or ruminating about, and then redirecting our focus back to the body and the breath is a liberating way to change the way our brains control and create ruts of behavior. It is worthwhile to take time to contemplate conscious attention throughout the day as we go about our lives as well as when sitting in meditation. This kind of attention is called heart-mind awareness. Setting aside five to 10 minutes a day to do a heart-mind meditation practice is a healthy way to nourish wise attention and encourage a shift in our mind’s behavior.

This month I invite you to do a short tonglen practice that can be offered for those who are ill, dying, or passed on, or people we know (or don’t know) who are in pain of any kind.  This can also be an on-the-fly practice in which we send compassion to people we encounter throughout the day, offering heartfelt intentions of wellness and ease. 

Note: Young children can be invited to draw during this practice and use their creativity to channel compassion.

  1. Sitting in stillness with eyes closed. Begin by breathing in and out, noticing where the breath is the clearest in the body, and then bring your attention to the heart. Welcome feelings of kindness – this could be a golden light, an image of the Buddha or personal deity, or just an overall feeling of warmth. You may also choose to place your hands on your heart.
  2. Visualization of a person’s suffering using the breath and sensations. Breathing in and out welcomes an awareness of your or someone else’s suffering. Name the suffering (sadness, grief, pain). See the situation in your heart-mind just as it is.
  3. Receiving and taking in suffering. Focus on the situation by seeing an image of the suffering. Use the in-breath to receive the image and with the out-breath, transform it into something more positive. You may try using smoke that changes into white light. You can also see the person as being in pain and then visualize their face turning into a smile. As you do this, recite several times: May this pain and suffering be released.
  4. Expanding compassion outward by extending it to all who are suffering. Using the same in-and-out breath process described above, visualize and welcome an awareness of a world that is suffering. On each out-breath offer the mantra to the world: May this pain and suffering be released. 

Conclusion of the practice. Sit in silence for several more breaths, enjoying the feeling of release and transformation. Conclude with a final recitation of the mantra: May all beings be well and live with ease. When ready, open your eyes slowly, shifting your attention to your body and then to the space you’re in by noticing some objects around you.

Originally published, December 13, 2023 in The Taos News

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Loving-Kindness is a Meditation Practice with Big Benefits:

Sending Kind Thoughts

Children are born with an innate capacity to give and receive affection and compassion. We’ve noticed how young children absorb the smiles of others and instinctively reciprocate their own heart-melting energy. We’ve watched a young child shed tears seeing another being in distress and noticed how they are able to join in the laughter of others. Observe them as they hug their furry pets and speak sweetly to un-furry pets such as a butterfly or a lizard. Children are born with a real sense of how to love and be loved. As they grow older, this spontaneity wanes as life affects their lived experiences. They find out that others are not always kind and loving, that people can display hurtful behaviors and life may become more challenging to navigate.  

Indeed, the world is sometimes a hard place and meditation can help assuage the feelings that come from suffering (dukkha in the Pali language of Buddhism). This is actually the first of the Four Noble Truths: that there is suffering in the world. The Second Noble Truth, that there is a cause of suffering, allows us to understand that it is not our fault. The Third Noble Truth teaches us that there is an end to suffering and then the Fourth Noble Truth sends us on the path of how to handle the effects of suffering by training our emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence helps us to stay present with life experiences. Intelligence is knowing that this, too, shall pass and that there is a positive way to deal with suffering. By encouraging present-moment awareness we learn to accept the changing nature of our experiences, the behaviors of others, and our own inner landscape. We learn to see things as they are without the duality of “good” or “bad,” and learn to check in with ourselves to build our internal resources.

This may be the biggest benefit of family meditation: to pause, check in, and genuinely wish ourselves and others well. When the family learns to nurture inner peace, we can generate positivity and heartfulness. By practicing mindful meditation, families can model how to keep positivity and generosity flowing, even when life’s experiences are confusing and painful. Loving-kindness, also known as Metta, is a meditation in which we send kind thoughts to ourselves and others. It is a generous practice that anyone can do, no matter the age and level of emotional intelligence.

  • Before you start this mediation, set a timer (10-20 minutes for example) and decide who will be the leader. Then choose a few phrases that invoke kindness and compassion. Write them down if it helps everyone to remember. Here are some examples:
    • “May I/you/we be at peace.”
    • “May /you/we be healthy.”
    • “May I/you/we feel free.”
    • “May joy fill my/your/our life.”
  • As is customary for meditation, find a comfortable place where the entire family can be together and attention is the most focused. 
  • Start by taking three deep breaths together, inhaling through the nose, and exhaling through the mouth while tuning in to how the body feels and responds to relaxing breaths.
  • Continuing our rhythmic breathing, we will offer loving-kindness intentions to people in our life, called beneficiaries, (yourself, your family, your neighbors, your community, your country, and people who need kindness across the world). 
  • Offering Metta starts with ourselves individually and then, in turn, moves on to others one at a time, ending with a community or group.
  • With the beneficiary clearly in your mind, repeat the loving-kindness phrases several times, moving from one beneficiary to the next every few minutes. The leader can speak the phrases out loud or encourage everyone to say them silently to themselves as the intended beneficiary is visualized. 
  • When the timer goes off or the meditation is completed, sit quietly for a few moments, smiling and sensing how it feels to have shared loving-kindness with ourselves and the world. 
  • If time permits, journaling can be encouraged. The very young can draw how they feel or who they sent Metta and illustrate how it made that person/those people feel.

Originally published in The Taos News, August 10, 2023

Meditating with Mother Nature: Impermanence and Interconnectedness.

Meditating in nature is a satisfying activity that anyone can do, no matter their age or mobility. Many people enjoy sitting under a tree or by a stream, lying on their back in a meadow or just sitting on the porch on a hot summer day. Communing with nature can be a rewarding experience, especially if we can feel gratitude and pay close attention to what is around us, appreciating the incredible colors, shapes, and designs. In the book, Awake in the Wild, author Mark Coleman writes, “Nature has the power to transform and awaken us. For centuries, monks, mystics, and other individuals have lived, meditated, and sought refuge in the forests, deserts, and mountains.” 

We can learn a lot from Mother Nature regarding impermanence and gratitude during the summer when there is an abundance of colorful life around us. All of this beauty is freely offered with nothing asked in return for all that is produced. Gaia’s beauty reminds us that there is beauty for beauty’s sake as well as a deep interconnectedness or interbeing, a term coined by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Thich Nhat Hanh, (called Thay, or teacher, by his followers), was a firm believer in meditating with nature. “When we look into our own bodily formation, we see Mother Earth inside us, and so the whole universe is inside us, too. Once we have this insight of interbeing, it is possible to have real communication, real communion with the Earth;” from Love Letters to the Earth. The idea of interbeing is very important to Thay and his Plum Village followers. Interbeing is the belief that we are part of Nature, its beings, and all that lives on our planet. We breathe together, hold space together and depend on each other for survival. There is no self separate from our environment and we all need the same elements to survive. What happens to you affects me and what happens to our environment affects all of us.

As I recently read in a Lion’s Roar article by Valerie Brown entitled The True Nature of a Flower, “Interconnectedness can be seen in a garden. A flower does not grow in isolation. It’s permeated by non-flower elements such as sunlight, soil, water, and air. It cannot exist without these non-flower elements. When you really look at a flower, you begin to see this interconnectedness of the roots stabilizing the soil, the nectar providing food for butterflies and insects, and seed heads offering nourishment for birds”. With awareness of interconnectedness, we understand the kinship connecting plant to flower, flower to non-flower elements, and also to everything else, including humans. We cannot exist without sunlight, water, air, and the nutrients plants provide. Using meditation, we can deepen our awareness of the connection (interbeing) we have with our environment and Mother Earth whose abundance and wisdom are immense.

The following practice is intended for families (or a group of people) to practice together in a natural setting. This meditation takes place in a quiet outdoor place – the backyard, a city park, next to a stream, or in a forest. It is appropriate for all ages.

Meditating with Mother Nature

  • Once you’ve found your spot in nature, gather everyone around and find a place to sit. If you have brought chairs, cushions or blankets, they can make sitting on the ground more comfortable. Barefooted would also be nice.
  • As you take your seat, notice what is going on in the body or mind. We can always be aware of something, whether it is thoughts or sensations. This is Mindful Awareness.
  • Close your eyes and bring attention to the body. Bring awareness to your posture and what parts of the body are in contact with the earth. Sit with as much ease as possible so that relaxation can be present.
  • Breathe normally and feel the entire movement of your breathing as it moves through the body. As you breathe, feel the air coming in and going out and imagine that you are breathing with all life forms around you. Plants breathe, animals breathe, insects breathe, etc…
  • Do this for a few minutes together, allowing everyone to enjoy their own breathing sensations as well as the appreciation that there’s a community breathing together.
  • Now, bring your awareness to the natural environment around you. What do you hear? What do you feel? Are there sensations in relation to the areas that are in touch with the earth? Tickling of grass, Crumbling of earth, Solidity of rocks …?
  • Open your eyes and look around you. What do you see? Trees swaying in the wind. A bird on a branch, an ant on the ground; pay attention carefully and with a curious heart. 
  • Allow everyone time to silently engage with their surroundings so that there is an awareness of the relationship we have with all kinds of life forms – the plants, the insects, the trees, the birds, and even the hidden animals. Acknowledge that we are all part of this living, breathing ecosystem. Even if the family or group can only sense this for a short time, it is worthwhile, and with practice, the time can be extended. (A valuable goal is to sit in nature for at least 30 minutes.

An audio version of this featured meditation is available on the Welcoming a Mindful Future podcast via Spotify, Apple, and Google podcast platforms.

Anne-Marie Emanuelli is the founder and Creative Director at Mindful Frontiers LLC, an education-based mindfulness meditation center offering workshops, classes, and coaching for children, families, individuals, and classrooms. For more information please visit the website at MindfulFrontiers.net.

Originally published on The Taos News, July 13, 2023

Mindfulness and Social-Emotional Learning

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Tonglen practice for awakening compassion

Children have an innate capacity for generating kindness towards others.

One of my favorite meditation practices is Tonglen and a well-known teacher of this practice is Pema Chödrön.  The word tonglen comes from Tibetan language and translates as giving and taking. Tong means giving or sending, and len means receiving or taking. Pema explains that in tonglen practice “we visualize taking in the pain of others with every in-breath and sending out whatever will benefit them on the out-breath. In the process, we … begin to feel love for both ourselves and others; we begin to take care of ourselves and others.” In basic terms, tonglen meditation uses visualization and breath-focus to transform negative energy into positive.

I first learned about tonglen during a meditation-leader program at Sage Institute for Creativity and Consciousness from which I graduated in 2021. I was so intrigued with tonglen that my final paper was about comparing the practice to the heart language found in poetry. 

Historically, tonglen originated in India and was brought to Tibet around the 11th century as a way to help those who were suffering from serious diseases, and also so people might heal themselves so they could continue to help others. 

Tonglen is similar to Loving Kindness (Mettà) in that we are using the transformative power of the heart to channel healing. Although the overall intention of these practices is similar, tonglen is different in that we actually welcome suffering into our hearts. We feel the pain and sadness before allowing the heart to feel compassion and extending it outward into the world.

Compassion is not the same as empathy. A working definition of compassion says it is “the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.” Empathy is “the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.” (greatergood.berkeley.edu) So, we can understand the subtle difference to be that empathy is an ability to understand another’s emotions, whereas with compassion we also desire to relieve their suffering.

Pema explains the compassion practice further: “Usually, we look away when we see someone suffering. Their pain brings up our fear or anger; it brings up our resistance and confusion. So we can also do tonglen for all the people just like ourselves—all those who wish to be compassionate but instead are afraid, who wish to be brave but instead are cowardly. Rather than beating ourselves up, we can use our personal stuckness as a stepping stone to understanding what people are up against all over the world. Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. We can use our personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.”

The following short tonglen practice can be offered for those who are ill, those who are dying or have already passed, or those people in pain of any kind. Although this is a shortened version, tonglen is traditionally an extended meditation practice.

Tonglen practice for families and groups. Young children can be invited to draw during this practice and use their creativity to channel compassion.

  1. Sitting in stillness with eyes closed. Generate open awareness as you watch the breath go in and out, inviting the desire to fully awaken to compassion. Bring your attention to the heart and welcome feelings of love – this could be a golden light, an image of the Buddha, a “feel-good” being, or just an overall feeling of warmth. You may also choose to place your hands on your heart.
  2. Visualization of a person’s suffering using the breath and sensations. Breathing in and out, welcome awareness of yours or someone else’s suffering. Name the suffering (sadness, grief, pain). See the situation as it is in as much detail as you wish. 
  3. Receiving and taking in suffering. Focus on the situation by seeing an image of the suffering. Use the in-breath to receive the image and with the out-breath, transform it into something more positive. You may try using smoke that changes into healing white light. You can also see the person as being in pain and then visualize their face turning into a smile. As you do this, recite several times: May this pain and suffering be released.
  4. Expanding compassion by extending it out to all who are in the same situation. Using the same in-and-out breath practice described above, visualize and welcome awareness of all who feel the same kind of suffering. On each out-breath offer them the mantra: May this pain and suffering be released. 
  5. Conclusion of the practice. Sit in silence for several more breaths, enjoying the feeling of release and transformation, Recite the final mantra: May all beings be well and live with ease. When ready, open your eyes slowly, bringing awareness back to the space you’re in, noticing your surroundings and all sensations that are present within you. 

(Please note that mindfulness and meditation are not a substitute for medical therapy.)

Originally published in The Taos News, January 5, 2022